Always read the directions
Running into his house cursing, Steve searched for his bottle of “skunk away”. Steve had just been sprayed by a skunk in his backyard. The smell was terrible and he was very angry. Managing to get a towel, he was able to get some of the musk off, but the smell was still terrible. Throwing all of his clothes into the wash, he put in a special kind of soap that could get the musk and smell out. But the smell was still on him. Opening his medicine cabinet, he found the bottle of “skunk away”. This was a new type of “skunk away”, it was a type that you’d mix with water and drink. It would temporarily alter your sweat and allow it to neutralize the smell, it also had ingredients to make you sweat more. Sighing in relief at finding the bottle, he didn’t even read the directions and simply gulped it down thinking,
“if I take it this way, it’ll work better”. Putting it back into the cabinet, he didn’t the writing on the back that said “Warning: dilute in water in concentrations of 5ml per 250ml of water, ingesting in concentrations greater can cause unexpected side effects”. He didn’t want to get the smell on any more clothes until the stuff had a chance to work, and he had taken a shower to clean himself off. So he draped a towel around himself so he wouldn't be totally naked and walked around the house waiting for the stuff to take effect.
A couple hours later, he started to feel warm. He was noticing that he was starting to sweat, a lot. Steve was normally not a ‘sweaty’ person, so sweating a lot was not normal for him. He took this was a sign that the
“skunk away” working. The smell however, was not going away, if anything it seemed to be gaining strength! Suddenly feeling hot, then cold then dizzy, Steve looked at his arms. What he saw shocked and terrified him. Black fur was growing on them!
“What the hell?” he said loudly. Getting up, he felt a wave of tingling and itchiness on his legs, only to see black fur growing on them as well. Running towards the bathroom, he feverishly went though the cabinet and found the “skunk away”, this time seeing the directions, he realized his mistake: “Warning: dilute in water in concentrations of 5ml per 250ml of water, ingesting in concentrations greater can cause unexpected side effects”.
“Dammit!” he said loudly, remembering the old saying ‘always read the directions!”. Continuing to feel dizzy, his hands started shaking causing him to drop the bottle. Looking at his hands, he saw his them becoming covered in black fur, while his fingers changed, getting shorter and changing into what looked like long nails. As he watch his hands change, he saw pad’s developing of the bottoms of them. It seemed as if his sweat was causing him to change rather then getting rid of them smell. His chest started to become incredibly itchy, and looking in the mirror, he saw that black fur was growing on it and his sides and back.
“No!” he said, getting very distressed over his situation. Running out of the bathroom, hoping to call someone for help, he suddenly felt a pain in his groin. Grabbing it, and ending up in a fetal position, he could feel his internal organs and bone structure changing. While the pain was not incredibly intense, knowing what was happening to him made the feeling just as upsetting as if it had been. He started to feel the bone structure changes spread beyond his insides and could feel his legs changing shape. Lying on his back, he watched as not only his legs shrank and changed shape, but also continued to grow a pelt of black fur. The pain finally subsiding, he tried to stand up, but he found himself no longer able to comfortably walk on two legs, he ended up having to walk on all fours, his body shape now perfectly suited to such a position. His fur continued to grow in, getting thicker and thicker. Finding a full length mirror, he could see the fur on his back. It was black, which a white stripe down the middle. His face stared to feel strange and he cringed in pain, and closed his eyes as he felt his face pulling out into a long muzzle. The pain went away and he opened his eyes. His face and head now looked like a skunks, it was covered in black fur, and he had a white stripe going down his nose and up his forehead. He looked almost like a giant skunk without a tail. Before he could finish that thought, he saw a fluffy black tail with a white strip down the middle grow in. It didn’t cause him much pain as it grew, but it felt very strange. It grew longer and longer until it was nearly as long as his body. Instinctively, it positioned itself in a position of “holding it up above his body”. Looking in the mirror, his reflection that that was gigantic skunk. Suddenly feeling a wave of change, he began to quickly shrink, until he was no bigger then the skunk that had sprayed him.
He stood looking in the mirror at himself in disbelief . His humanity had melted away from him. Walking, he found himself walking just like a skunk. He was suddenly feeling very hungry, but instead of wanting human food, he found himself craving grubs and other bugs that he could find in the ground. The idea of eating such food should have been disgusting to him, but for some reason it was suddenly very appealing. With great effort he managed to get his screen door open, and walked into his backyard.
As he dug though the grass, finding bugs and eating them the old saying “always read the directions!” continued to play though his mind. Hearing the sounds of a human entering the backyard, he saw his wife standing there, with the skunk away bottle in hand. Looking at him, she sighed
“You didn’t read the directions did you?” looking at her, Steve could only grin in embarrassment as if to shrug his shoulders and say ‘oops’. His wife continued;
“Well we’ve always wanted a pet skunk, this may not have been the way to get one, but it works for me. But first we have to get you de-scented and neutered”. Picking up Steve she carried him into the house. Smiling, he couldn't help but realize she was right. He now had the pet he wanted, although his method for acquiring that pet was a bit unorthodox. Thinking to himself, he though
“Sigh, guess I should have read those instructions as well.”